So this week I found out that guy had a major crush on last year separated from his girlfriend of eight years. I wish I could say I was very surprised by the way I felt, at the news, but to be honest, not really. I’m also not really surprised that most of it is complicated and weird and not always comfortable.

Like, aside from the him-specific ( Read more... )

So, I was going to do a big Thinking Post about all the fics in progress I’ve failed to touch (or in some cases, think of) for…anywhere between two to eight years. I was planning on having, idk, a summary of what went wrong and a maybe even try to see if any of them had a chance of being picked up. After all, I’m turning 30 next year, and I figure ( Read more... )

One thing I’m starting to understand as I try to (very slowly) work on a co-writing project about a fandom I’m currently into (yes, it is Good Omens, how did you guess) after spending seven months working on the same fic and spend my days at work alternating between long stretches of intense focus and moments when I can’t stomach the thought of ( Read more... )

The interesting thing about making my previous post is that I was joking but also now that I’m thinking of it a little more seriously...it’s probably closer to the truth than I realized at first. It’s not that I don’t want to write because I do!

In theory.

In practice, every time I try to give any of my stories a good thinking, my brain just ( Read more... )

So, today was way more tiring than it had any right to be considering I sat on my couch all afternoon because of the damn ankle. One of my friends talked about someone she knew who had to have surgery because of multiple ankle injuries and I am so hoping it won’t come to this, urgh. But hey, I have an appointment with the physiotherapist on Tuesday ( Read more... )

 I keep feeling like I should be doing an introspective post tonight. Not sure why or what about--probably because I've had a bunch of interesting conversation in the past few days--but the feeling lingers. I might go ahead and sit down for it at some point this week, I guess? I usually get rambling easy enough if I allow myself to it (can actually ( Read more... )

So I mentioned not long ago that I’d probably need to do a self-reflecting birthday post at some point, and I didn’t particularly meant to make it now since there’s still two weeks left before that happens, but now I have a work thing and a bit of a click moment to share, so let’s go.

I can always make another post later on if I want to, anyway.

( Read more... )

 I was rereading a bunch of personal posts and they made me think of a line about Napoleon Solo from a fic, which went along the lines of ‘usually he keeps talking like he’s afraid if he stops people will stop paying attention to the words and pay attention to him instead, and they won’t like what they see’
And uh. I think I’ve both gained a deeper ( Read more... )

So. Endgame. I’ve been home from the cinema for about twenty minutes and I’ve spent most of this time…sitting on my couch and listening to sad music because typing ‘mourning music’ was literally the only thing I could think of to fit the mood-and I think…I think that’s my answer, isn’t it? As to what I feel about this movie.

I’m mourning.

( This is not a review so much as an eulogy, of sorts. Still, there are spoilers ahead, so be warned. )

realized tonight that I have now lived at least four years longer than I ever expected to live. Not even in a suicidal, ‘I’ll kill myself before then’ way (although I learned a few months ago that 'I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up’ or 'I wish I could Not Exist’ counted as suicidal ideation and uh…that was A Thing I Had To Digest which ( Read more... )